Losing Control

Okay, well, I don’t know if any of you know, but I love being in contol. Scratch that, I feel it’s absolutely imperative most of the time for me to be in control. Now, I’ve been applying like crazy at WestJet and AirCanada, most of the time in Canadian cities other than K-Town, and it looks as though I might actually get one of the jobs elsewhere. But for the first time in my life, the very first, I don’t feel the need to leave. And I believe that reason would be, or well, I know that reason would be Jake. I have honestly never felt this was about a person before. I just like him so much and I value our time together so much and everything he says and does and is only makes me want to stay beside him forever. Crazy you say, being that it’s only been a little over a month since we started dating? I agree, but nonetheless, it’s there. It doesn’t feel like it’s only been a month anyways seeing as I’ve liked him for almost four years, but still. I feel stupid and embarassed admitting that I like him so much, and I almost don’t want to do it because I don’t want to come off as this obsessed ninny, but I need to say something. I almost wish that it wasn’t as strong and I could just be free and fly off to points beyond, but then I wouldn’t have this amazing gift and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. I’m a little worried, no, I’m terrified about the pain that could result from this if Jake were to leave me, but I honestly can’t help it. I’m falling for him.