Our time here
June 16, 2010
I’m sitting here at my desk, working away, plugging through my pile of tasks without so much as a thought in my mind, and I’ve noticed how much of my life is spent in a state of complete detachment. I get up in the morning with no thoughts but the immediate “make toast, brush hair, wash face etc.) I drive to work on nothing but instinct and reflex, then I get through my eight or so hours at work trying not to think about my situation and simply getting the next task done that’s infront of me. At the end of the day, I find my way home, eat supper, do whatever, then go to sleep…by the time friday rolls around, I begin to come back to myself, but only until about sunday afternoon. By that time, I’ve begun to fade away yet again. This means that I have roughly 2 out of 7 days in a week where I’m actually doing what you might call “living,” and only for about two thirds of the time. The other third of course, I’m asleep. So, startlingly, I’ve discovered that I use only about 17% of my life for living…and by “living,” I don’t even mean just having fun; I mean being conscious of my surroundings and enjoying the very fact that I have life within me. Good god, is this not depressing? 17%…Somehow I feel that there has to be a better way to get by in this one, single, fleeting bit of time that we’ve been given…just thought I’d lay that all out.
